Breathing The SSDD Mantra

chronicling the raves and rants of a narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard in orgiastic moans recluse as he drifts to the SSDD mantra... life can be boring, especially if you're bland to begin with. the world is round and it can make you a fool if you let it. stab the snooze. make a mark. crawl out of your TV celluloid and live a wicked life. because life's a bitch and you have to be a bitchier fuck-me-Freddy to live. viva la vida!

Oh, puh-leaze…This Much Ballyhooed Golden Boy is Just Gold-plated.

December 8, 2008

Fine, I was one of the eager Pinoy boxing fanatics who stuck their behinds inside their houses, glued on their TV sets while rallying behind our much touted Pambansang Kamao during his Dream Match yesterday at Las Vegas, Nevada, never mind if I only had four hours sleep after arriving from my grave-yard shift at past 7AM.

Who wouldn’t anyway when this iconic sports star can easily unite many people in great discord just by entering the boxing ring and pounding on his opponent like mad? Consider the swift and smooth flow of vehicles in the city’s major boulevards and avenues yesterday. Or perhaps PNP’s report that, except for a case of a stolen wallet at a public free viewing stadium in Tondo, not a single crime happened yesterday. Or heck, even the conflict areas in Mindanao had their taste of tranquility, at least even just for a few hours of Golden Boy-Pacman bout viewing, free of machine gun ratatats and wails of just-orphaned children. With all the surprisingly good series of fortunate events that occur in this country every time we have a Pacquiao match, wouldn’t you wish that every day the veritable south paw always bloody cracks some Mexican’s well-chiseled nose?

This time around, since I have my own moolah to part with, the much-awaited boxing match had me in double adrenaline and anxiousness after I decided to have a bet with my teammate. Naturally, since dela Hoya was the taller, more experienced boxer, and with a longer arm’s reach at that, everybody was expecting the famed Mexican to win hands down. Only, their misinformed guess was wrong because they overlooked the fact that Manny was fighting for his country, and that’s the greatest motivation that always had him give his best performance in every fight. And if, by any remotest chance, dela Hoya indeed knocks down Manny in a round, I’m pretty sure Manny will immediately get up to his knees, shrug the sting, and fight back like hell. So Mark, my teammate, picked the Golden Boy over his Pinoy compatriot and I already had the feeling his bet is already in my bag. Manny will floor this Mexican of great braggadocio because he (dela Hoya) was only fighting for his own glory, saying that Manny’s age and speed are his motivation for the fight,; something that wreaks of denial that yes, he’s had his time but now, please move over because we have this Pinoy boxer as a yardstick for action-packed matches.

And boy, was I right! While the girls in the house were breathless and dreamy over Oscar’s handsome looks, I remained confident that Manny will emerge victorious in spite of his goon looks and bad guy moustache. Yes, the Max Alvarado do suited him because it made him all the more buff and quite ready to rumble indeed! Oscar, on the other hand, looked very much less of a boxer but more of a sissy Hollywood leading man of a B-list movie. For chrissake, this is boxing and the sports discipline requires a display of brawn and tough Mike Tyson mantra!

Another noticeable difference was how Manny bounced like a human trampoline, flighty and grinning to the maddening crowd as compared to the serious and sobering aura of Oscar, a conspicuous omen that told me he’s only bluffing when he announced to the world he’ll knock out our pound-for-pound boxer in 5 rounds (which proved me right after the Golden Boy camp chickened out at the onset of the 9th round).

And, yes, now I know how it sucks not to have cable TV service in the house. While greedy network station GMA delivered slew upon slew of crappy commercials, I had to text the folks back home in the province for live account of what was happening at the moment. While fuck-you-sonuvabitch-go-to-freakin-hell GMA killed the tensed non-cable TV viewers with a rerun of endorsers (I was already puking over an ad showing for the umpteenth time of a forgettable super glue brand with a man glued upside down to speak of its supposed reliability), I had a text update that said the fight was already five-rounds long, and Manny was dictating the action. Come 8th round in the cable viewing back home and with no Dream Match yet starting to air in the fuck-me-Freddy TV bigwig in our Sampaloc apartment, I had a text that said Manny won and yes, I should already be relieved over the bet. I guess this is how one feels when they say it’s bittersweet. Sweet because I won the bet and Manny ruled the match but bitter because all the go-shove-your-fuckin-gloves-up-Oscar’s-ass exclamations and gritty air-punching that I would have done while Manny was pulverizing Oscar’s pretty boy image would ultimately be suppressed by the fact that I know the outcome of the match even before I could watch it.

So I need not do a retelling of what transpired during the eight-round long boxing match because I know you had your fuckin’ arses burned like smokin’ bacon in your sofas as you watched the Dream Match, ending the Filipino salvo with raised fists of triumph and pride. I was happy as well that at least for one single moment, the Philippines is known the world over not as a haven of cheap sluts and ass-kissing chambermaids but a country of great sports warriors like this remarkable boxer named Manny Pacquaio. And for this, I guess our appreciation over this brilliant sports icon is just expected.

Now, with the overrated hero’s welcome and overrated parades that will ensue during Manny’s arrival and his planned retirement come 2009 to prepare for (wait…I need to grab a blade and slash my wrist first) his congressional bid yet again, that’s another story.

Posted by ssdd at 5:40 pm | permalink

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ain't this friggin' narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard cute?

anonymous.jpg

 

A lot of people tell me I’m special. Of course I freakin’ am! You don’t have to stress the obvious. That’s being redundant.

 

I’m a friggin’ yuppie in his early twenties but looks even younger than his age, sometimes mistaken for a scrawny 17-year-old virgin and as such, I have decided to become eternally twenty to be on the safe side. I am slaving the ephemeral call center whoring job as of the moment but one day, I will become a fuckin’ proud CPA topnotcher. Being a perfectionist who does not conform to stereotypes and anything commonplace, I abhor senseless, pointless discussions by nitwits but adore intellectual discourses from remarkable geniuses in the same league with the caliber of my neurons and synapses.

 


I like wearing black shirts even if black is not a color and I love drinking Red Horse booze with pineapple syrup or GSM Blue enhanced by acerbic Sprite when the night is hugged by penis-shrinking coldness in Baguio. I am left-handed and I like to draw but that does not mean I am dumb at Math. Along with English, Math was one of my favorite subjects in high school. I love to watch anything shocking, gross and bizarre; in fact, I find scenes of decapitated heads and messy, blood-soaked innards oddly engaging. I think I'm eclectic.

 


When my half-Chinese dad chickened out, I got robbed of my childhood phase real quick and was forced to live out the family man title. That was also the time that I bade goodbye to the princely way of living in Manila and said hello to the clusterfuck pauper proletariat life in the province. Being the smartass that I am, I excelled academically and graduated half-wishing I had a worthy adversary in the mold of Einstein or da Vinci to sharpen my not-fully-developed cranial muscles. But if you ask me of my biggest achievement so far, I would have to tell you that’s when I sent my sister to schooling and saw her taking her oath as a Certified Electronics and Communications Engineer. I chose to put my dreams in the back seat for her, you see.

 


When I was still in school, I thought my seatmates were drooling retards and I was an effin’ superior child unworthy to be kept inside such a fucked up pig pen. For chrissake, I deserve something far better than those freakin’ bozos! So if I could choose who I want to share the claustrophobic classroom with, I’d pick Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, JK Rowling, Jessica Zafra, Patricia Evangelista, Conrado de Quiroz, Bob Ong and Scott Garceau hands down. They’re authors, if you’re that stupid, by the way.

 

I do not possess the vapid handsomely looks of dumb celebrity stars (they only have the looks but they don’t have that thing in between the ears, anyway) but I am not ugly either. I think I’m cute and as in my penis, my looks could be thrown up there in the above-average file. I am narcissistic and unsurprisingly, I find satisfaction in looking at myself in mirrors. There’s one flaw in my nearly perfect personality though. I am horizontally-challenged and that actually makes me less handsome than I should be. People have been telling me that had I been given a mesomorph frame, I would surely qualify as a handsome dork. Fine, I’ll hit the gym once I find the time. But then again, I’ve always been busy.

 P1170442 copy.jpg 

 

I love writing and someday, when I’ve already reached the stars and danced under stardust sprinkles, I will write the Great Filipino Novel that will put the Philippines in the world literary map. In the meantime though, I content myself with polluting the Internet bandwidth with fuck-me-Freddy rants and unlimited R18 invectives.


I am a narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard in orgiastic moans recluse and this blog is my first attempt in realizing my idiosyncratic world domination plots. There are currently almost 6.7 billion suckers lurking out there contributing nothing to society but vomit-inducing stupidity. Most of these people are worthy to be guillotined to death for harking out such idiotic yadda yadda's.

 

If you believe in this horrendous truth, then join me in ridding the macrocosm of these useless, pathetic twits. If you're the twit, though, go find someone to savor your last fornication on earth and then prepare to be annihilated. The world will be a better place to live in without you, anyway.



This is my blog. You either love me or hate me. Adding me in your blog roll list is fine but don't expect that I will publish your effin' you're-going-to-hell comment. And yes, I don't do ex-links. That's being pathetic. The blogs in my  blog roll are those that I peruse regularly and normally, I don't tell these people I've added them in the list. If you find that offending or for whatever reason, you feel it is an invasion of your privacy rights, just let me know. I'll scrap your site in the list real quick. Otherwise, consider it a form of flattery.

 

ON SECOND THOUGHT, I THINK I AM NOW WILLING TO DO EX-LINKS. ALL THESE BLOGGERS WHO WILLINGLY PERUSED THIS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BLOG MADE ME CHANGE MY MIND. SO YES, YOU CAN NOW COMMENT USING A "NICE POST! EX-LINK?" TEMPLATE. HAPPY?

 

Caution: Breathing the SSDD Mantra is my idiosyncrasy in print. If you can't take the heat in this ranting oven, close the tab and  go screw your next-door neighbor's wife, you pathetic little twit!

 

Don't say I didn't warn you...

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douche bag diatribe unlmtd.

go friggin' plagiarize others' works instead

been harry pottered since the philosopher's and when the saga died down in deathly hallows, i got pottered just the same...sigh!

one effin' proof why pinoys are waaay more superior than their occidental brethrens in the history of friggin' humanity

shaving off the angst-ridden bastardness in me (play with my hamster using your mouse pointer)

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