Breathing The SSDD Mantra

chronicling the raves and rants of a narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard in orgiastic moans recluse as he drifts to the SSDD mantra... life can be boring, especially if you're bland to begin with. the world is round and it can make you a fool if you let it. stab the snooze. make a mark. crawl out of your TV celluloid and live a wicked life. because life's a bitch and you have to be a bitchier fuck-me-Freddy to live. viva la vida!

Go Screw Yourself You Mother-fuckin’ Double Douche Bag Bitch!

November 25, 2008

Today is supposedly my rest day and if I get it right, rest days are meant for relaxation, calmness and all that Zen shit. You take it easy, wind down from the week’s events, and free yourself from the corporate incarceration of your cliched young, urban professional lfe. You lie down and become a Greek bummer god eating the best-tasting ambrosia in the mountains of Olympus.

Curiously enough, after rudely being interrupted from a deep slumber by the fuckin’ road drilling of those DSWD worker bastards just outside the window (a clear indication that, along with the way-too-commercialized Christmas spirit,  2010 national elections has finally arrived) and having a little fuckarow with my dear bitchy sister over money (dear Gawd, could you skip days 26 and 27 and go straight ahead with 28) and job prospects (yes, Virginia, my sister, in spite of her impressive credentials and her glossy PRC ECE professional badge, still remains to be a job hunter up to this day), I am tempted to dump the occurrences of my sleazy life today into the recycle bin real quick. The world’s weight appears to be on my shoulder and I just can’t feel like my usual self today. All the bubbly mantra gone down the drain. The intoxicating cheerfulness and zest to live finally ceasing to work. Angst…just angst with the world and all its narcissistic, pathetic, couldn’t-care inhabitants.

Shame.

I don’t like to be lost in the usual crowd because I’m afraid I won’t find my way back. All the people I care for look up to me like an adulated pop icon. My friends who had bouts of weakening problems say some of the strength and will to live they get from one piece of bloody fighting warrior that is me. A close pal, whom I have cutely called my “baby”, lost her father last year from a disease whose cure still remains to be in enigma up to this very age and she confessed it helped that I was there to ease the pain. Although I remain to be horizontally-challenged and thus, appearing to be willow, yielding and weak in character, people I know say otherwise. That, in their Google search of a person who refuses to be conquered with the wicked ways of the world, results of the humdrum engine points to the very personification of my existence.

Geez! What a pathetic way to boost my slowly-decaying morale! Maybe they were not looking far enough. Perhaps they were blind to see my flaws. I’m a mortal, not a freakin’ immortal god.

And so I rant. And rant with all the angst that I could muster. I am about to succumb to the abyss of despair and solitary insanity and I don’t care if I lose this shallow “heroic” title accorded by some friends. All these fuckin’ probs are slowly eating up my system. Several times I have tried to fight back, to resist defeat, to make an enormous effort to turn the ugly tides, and several times, I have been successful in my campaign. But the world has this ugly, hideous way of rubbing all the bad luck in you, I guess.

You know, when a person is bent on displaying a “king-of-the-world” mantra, fate curiously always finds a way to dump all the trashbins in your revolting face. Is this the wicked way of the world? You resist, it desists. You become optimistic, it makes you pessimistic instead. You fight back, it stabs you at the back.

I hate this fucked up life. Makes me morose and defenseless. So life’s a bitch and you have to be more bitchy to win. Welcome to SSDD, welcome to my life!

Posted by ssdd at 7:54 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

You sound like Chuck Palahniuk here. :P Srsly!

Wait, what does SSDD mean?

Posted by Kevin at November 26, 2008, 8:49 am

@kevin: geez! didn’t know i write like a real writer until now. truth be told, i know nothing of chuck palahniuk except that he penned fight club. i’ll try to read his prose some time and then i’ll see the similarity for myself.

ssdd is a mantra i got after reading stephen king’s dream catcher. it sort of stuck within me thru the years and i embraced it as something to live by.

it is just curious how many have been asking me about the real meaning of the acronym. maybe i’ll try to write one post real soon regarding the ssdd mantra.

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ain't this friggin' narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard cute?

anonymous.jpg

 

A lot of people tell me I’m special. Of course I freakin’ am! You don’t have to stress the obvious. That’s being redundant.

 

I’m a friggin’ yuppie in his early twenties but looks even younger than his age, sometimes mistaken for a scrawny 17-year-old virgin and as such, I have decided to become eternally twenty to be on the safe side. I am slaving the ephemeral call center whoring job as of the moment but one day, I will become a fuckin’ proud CPA topnotcher. Being a perfectionist who does not conform to stereotypes and anything commonplace, I abhor senseless, pointless discussions by nitwits but adore intellectual discourses from remarkable geniuses in the same league with the caliber of my neurons and synapses.

 


I like wearing black shirts even if black is not a color and I love drinking Red Horse booze with pineapple syrup or GSM Blue enhanced by acerbic Sprite when the night is hugged by penis-shrinking coldness in Baguio. I am left-handed and I like to draw but that does not mean I am dumb at Math. Along with English, Math was one of my favorite subjects in high school. I love to watch anything shocking, gross and bizarre; in fact, I find scenes of decapitated heads and messy, blood-soaked innards oddly engaging. I think I'm eclectic.

 


When my half-Chinese dad chickened out, I got robbed of my childhood phase real quick and was forced to live out the family man title. That was also the time that I bade goodbye to the princely way of living in Manila and said hello to the clusterfuck pauper proletariat life in the province. Being the smartass that I am, I excelled academically and graduated half-wishing I had a worthy adversary in the mold of Einstein or da Vinci to sharpen my not-fully-developed cranial muscles. But if you ask me of my biggest achievement so far, I would have to tell you that’s when I sent my sister to schooling and saw her taking her oath as a Certified Electronics and Communications Engineer. I chose to put my dreams in the back seat for her, you see.

 


When I was still in school, I thought my seatmates were drooling retards and I was an effin’ superior child unworthy to be kept inside such a fucked up pig pen. For chrissake, I deserve something far better than those freakin’ bozos! So if I could choose who I want to share the claustrophobic classroom with, I’d pick Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, JK Rowling, Jessica Zafra, Patricia Evangelista, Conrado de Quiroz, Bob Ong and Scott Garceau hands down. They’re authors, if you’re that stupid, by the way.

 

I do not possess the vapid handsomely looks of dumb celebrity stars (they only have the looks but they don’t have that thing in between the ears, anyway) but I am not ugly either. I think I’m cute and as in my penis, my looks could be thrown up there in the above-average file. I am narcissistic and unsurprisingly, I find satisfaction in looking at myself in mirrors. There’s one flaw in my nearly perfect personality though. I am horizontally-challenged and that actually makes me less handsome than I should be. People have been telling me that had I been given a mesomorph frame, I would surely qualify as a handsome dork. Fine, I’ll hit the gym once I find the time. But then again, I’ve always been busy.

 P1170442 copy.jpg 

 

I love writing and someday, when I’ve already reached the stars and danced under stardust sprinkles, I will write the Great Filipino Novel that will put the Philippines in the world literary map. In the meantime though, I content myself with polluting the Internet bandwidth with fuck-me-Freddy rants and unlimited R18 invectives.


I am a narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard in orgiastic moans recluse and this blog is my first attempt in realizing my idiosyncratic world domination plots. There are currently almost 6.7 billion suckers lurking out there contributing nothing to society but vomit-inducing stupidity. Most of these people are worthy to be guillotined to death for harking out such idiotic yadda yadda's.

 

If you believe in this horrendous truth, then join me in ridding the macrocosm of these useless, pathetic twits. If you're the twit, though, go find someone to savor your last fornication on earth and then prepare to be annihilated. The world will be a better place to live in without you, anyway.



This is my blog. You either love me or hate me. Adding me in your blog roll list is fine but don't expect that I will publish your effin' you're-going-to-hell comment. And yes, I don't do ex-links. That's being pathetic. The blogs in my  blog roll are those that I peruse regularly and normally, I don't tell these people I've added them in the list. If you find that offending or for whatever reason, you feel it is an invasion of your privacy rights, just let me know. I'll scrap your site in the list real quick. Otherwise, consider it a form of flattery.

 

ON SECOND THOUGHT, I THINK I AM NOW WILLING TO DO EX-LINKS. ALL THESE BLOGGERS WHO WILLINGLY PERUSED THIS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BLOG MADE ME CHANGE MY MIND. SO YES, YOU CAN NOW COMMENT USING A "NICE POST! EX-LINK?" TEMPLATE. HAPPY?

 

Caution: Breathing the SSDD Mantra is my idiosyncrasy in print. If you can't take the heat in this ranting oven, close the tab and  go screw your next-door neighbor's wife, you pathetic little twit!

 

Don't say I didn't warn you...

1_300566795l. jpg

 

douche bag diatribe unlmtd.

go friggin' plagiarize others' works instead

been harry pottered since the philosopher's and when the saga died down in deathly hallows, i got pottered just the same...sigh!

one effin' proof why pinoys are waaay more superior than their occidental brethrens in the history of friggin' humanity

shaving off the angst-ridden bastardness in me (play with my hamster using your mouse pointer)

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