Breathing The SSDD Mantra

chronicling the raves and rants of a narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard in orgiastic moans recluse as he drifts to the SSDD mantra... life can be boring, especially if you're bland to begin with. the world is round and it can make you a fool if you let it. stab the snooze. make a mark. crawl out of your TV celluloid and live a wicked life. because life's a bitch and you have to be a bitchier fuck-me-Freddy to live. viva la vida!

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Pahiram ng Pauso mo Karylle: I am Moving Forward (Goodbye i.PH Domain, Hello Bulagspot Datkomista)

March 19, 2009

Itaga niyo ‘to sa mga pekpek at betlogs niyo, ito na ang huling post ko sa kutang walang kwenta kong ‘to.
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Posted by ssdd at 11:08 pm | permalink | comments[6]

Confessions of a Virgin Datkomista (Oo…Pers Taym Ko sa Putanginang HTML Ekek na ‘To!)

March 18, 2009

Ikaanim na buwan ngayon ng pagkakatatag ko sa walang kuwentang kutang ‘to. At magpopost dapat ako ngayon. Pero wala akong naitipang maayos at hindi barubal. Pasensiya. Naubos ang oras ko kakaayos ng template sa bulagspot datkomista ko. Leche! Ang hirap palang maging datkomista. Magkakatulo ang tite mo. Gusto ko nang bumalik sa user-friendly, html-free navigation ng i.PH. Papasok pa ko mamaya sa pagpapakaputa at wala pa kong matinong tulog. Inday, pakikuha ‘yung blade sa kusina. Maglalaslas ako! Puta!

Impernes, pumalo ang walang kuwentang kutang ‘to nang bonggang bongga sa loob lang ng anim na buwan. Salamat nang marami sa inyong mga naligaw ng landas na walang sawang sumubaybay. Eto ang pruweba…

Posted by ssdd at 6:34 pm | permalink | comments[8]

Huling Laklak ng Alak sa Españang Takatak

March 14, 2009

I so fuckin’ love this company!

huling patak ng alak. sa apmnt. ngaun na. take it or leave it.

Kagabi lang eh naisipan kong magpainom.  Biglaan. Wala sa plano. Dapat sana eh wan on wan lang talaga kaming dalawa ni Pareng Gerald. Tamang lashing lang kako. Pantanggal ng angas dahil sa pagkapagod sa biyahe na pinalala pa lalo ng buwakanginang trapik. Pero dahil matagal kong hindi makikita ang mga taragis na pagmumuka ng mga hinayupak, inimbita ko na rin ang prenster prens kong aydol si Cory Aquino (kung gaano ako kakuripot, mas kuripot ‘tong mga ‘to…pramis!).

Nagtext ako sa mga katropa kong mga royal highness ng pakiramdaman  at pagkarating namin ni Pareng Gerald sa apartment galing sa lampas-riles para bumili ng bulalo, inihaw na pusit at liempong pulutan eh andun na ang mga hinayupak. Walastik! Basta libre talaga anlakas ng pang-amoy ng mga nilalang na ‘to. Gusto ko pa sanang dagdagan ng joke joke joke ‘yung text pero message sent na eh.  Wala nang bawian. At andun na sila. Kumaripas ng takbo mula sa kuta nilang pagmamay-ari ng lalakweng may regla papunta sa kuta naming minamandohan ng babaeng pinaglihi sa menopause sa sobrang asim ng pagmumuka.
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Posted by ssdd at 1:14 pm | permalink | comments[34]

beta

March 11, 2009

test mike test

Posted by ssdd at 2:05 pm | permalink | comments[6]

One Crispy "Putanginamo" To Go, Please!

March 10, 2009

Mahirap magpakaputa. Maski na ayaw mo eh kelangan mong ihanda ang mura mong katawan sa mga parokyanong Kanong hayok sa laman. Maski na hindi mo na kaya eh sasairin nila ang natitira mong lakas. Mumurahin ka nang makailang ulet para lang masunod ang gusto nila. Ipagduduldulan sa’yong isa kang puta at sila ang kustomer. Sila ang masusunod at kung gusto nilang sairin ang katas mo magdamag eh pilit nilang ipapagawa sa’yo yun, sa ayaw mo man o sa gusto. Maski na nakaratay ka na sa kama dahil sa sakit eh kelangan mo pa ring kaladkarin ang pototoy at betlogs mo para pumasok sa putanginang kasa. Walang palusot. Walang sinasayang na oras. Walang kawala.
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Posted by ssdd at 2:14 pm | permalink | comments[35]

How to Fail a Panel Interview for a Probable B-Grade Salary Job Promotion in 53 Minutes

March 6, 2009

Gawd, I miss this talented tongue. And I’m leaving it up to you if you want to deal with the first sentence figuratively or literally. I’d prefer the second, if you ask me. It sort of reminds me of the youthful, naughty brashness that I originally displayed in this good-for-nothing blog site.

So yes, devirginized Virginia, the signature nosebleed, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious English-speak of this narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard is back from semi-hibernation and it’s back with reinvigorated raves and rants yet again.

Folks who’ve gotten used to the wicked vernacular diatribe of Lio Loco, fret not. I am not leaving my bastardly kanto-speak for good. Heck, I owe a good deal of my current readership to the plain Tagalog dishings that I wrote last month. Why would I bite the hand that feeds this blog, right? Let’s just say I need to get a good grip of the yin and the yang, of the universal lingua franca and the nationalistic tongue. I need to savor the best of both worlds. And so yes, I will be leaping from the resident, American English-accented bastard bard to the widely popular, in-your-face Kanto Boy in this blog site every now and then.
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Posted by ssdd at 8:24 pm | permalink | comments[35]

I’m in Heat! I Need A Chillax Blast from the AC (Or At the Very Least, Any Cheap, Third World Electric Fan)

March 4, 2009

Dapat eh matutulog na ‘ko ngayon. Bukas pa ang iskedyul ng regular post ko sa walang kwentang kutang ‘to. Pero dahil kelangan ko lang talagang ilabas ‘to nang mabilisan para maski papano eh maging mahimbing ang pagkakadapla ko sa kama mamaya, heto ako ngayo’t nagpupuyos ang kalooban at maalab ang mga daliring tumitipa ng bawat letra.

Mainit ang ulo ko ngayon. Kasing-init ng maalinsangang hangin usok dito sa puke ng inang Maynila. Kaya ko nagawa ang ginawa ko sa opis kanina. Hindi ko sinasadya. Kahit kelan, wala sa bokabularyo ko ang magpapansin. Simula’t sapol, mas gusto ko pa ang nasa isang sulok lang. Kung meron mang mga taong gustung gustong maging center of the solar system, ‘yung mga lecheng nilalang na laging feeling bida, ‘yung gusto eh laging pinag-uusapan, ‘yung tipong artistahing kontrabida ang dating sa taragis na telenobela, hindi ako ‘yun. Dahil isa akong self-confessed introvert. Kuntentong nasa side lines at nagmamasid lang. Pero biglang nagpanting ang tenga ko kanina. Biglang nagbaga, uminit nang bonggang bongga. Hindi ko sinasadya.

 Sa lahat ng ayoko eh ‘yung pinagduduldulan sakin ang pagkakamali ko. Tatanggapin ko naman kasi ‘yun nang kusa eh. Sasabihin kong nagkamali ako. Wag mo nang ipagdiinan, higi’t lalong ibalandra sa buong mundo na gumawa ako ng taragis na kapalpakan na ikakapahiya ng sarili kong narsisistiko’t perpeksiyonistang katauhan.
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Posted by ssdd at 2:19 pm | permalink | comments[36]

Suddenly, the Narcissistic, Angst-ridden Bastard (Who Values His Anonymity Ad Infinitum) Begins to Open Up to the Freakin’ Third World Pinoy Blogosphere (Last of Two Parts)

March 1, 2009

Likas na sa mga Pinoy ang pagiging adeek sa piktyuran. Bigyan mo ang isang nilalang na nagkukuta sa España ng isang DSLR at pihadong ang unang-una niyang gagawin eh magkukulong sa kwarto, magtatanggal ng damit at salawal at pipiktyuran ang sarili nang hubo’t hubad. Patay-malisya ang puta. Tapos pag nagsawa na sa kakatingin sa nude photo eh saka naman buburahin para ‘wag maikalat ang scandal sa makamundong malawak na sapot.

Wag kang ipokrito. Ayon kay Good Times Moe Twister, SOP na yan kapagka nagkaroon ka ng isang gadget na kayang kumuha ng litrato, mapa-camera phone man yan, digital camera, o jurassic manual camera na kelangan ng rolyo ng film (buhay pa ba ang mga ganung klase ng camera?).

Kaya nga nauso sa Third world kawntring ‘to ang mga social site ekeks tulad ng Friendster, Facebook at Flicker na walang patid sa pagbalandra ng mga animalistic na kuha ng salinlahing adeek sa sariling imahe. ‘Yung tipong “Hoy! Walang pakialamanan! Eh sa gusto kong makita kung gaano kalaki ang butas ng ilong ko at kung gaano kakapal ang busal ng bibig ko…kebs!” kind of reaction. Hindi sapat ang araw-araw nang pagtingin sa salamin pagkagising, pagkatapos maligo, bago maalis, pangalawang ulet bago umalis, pangatlong ulet bago umalis dahil hindi kuntento, pang-apat na harap sa salamin bago umalis dahil parang may kulang, pagkarating, at bago matulog.
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Posted by ssdd at 8:15 pm | permalink | comments[30]

Suddenly, the Narcissistic, Angst-ridden Bastard (Who Values His Anonymity Ad Infinitum) Begins to Open Up to the Freakin’ Third World Pinoy Blogosphere (First of Two Parts)

February 27, 2009

Allergic ako sa tao. Nasabi ko na yan kelan lang dito sa walang kwentang kutang ‘to. Hindi ako mahilig makipagharutan sa mga taong ang bisyo sa buhay eh makipag EB at makipagsexmate textmate nang bonggang bongga. Wala akong account sa Multiply, Plurk, Twitter, Facebook, at kung anu-ano pang  social site ekek at ang kaisa-isang Friendster account ko na pinilit lang ipagawa sakin ng utol ko eh minsan sa isang dekada ko lang nabibisita. 

And don’t shove that pathetic “No man is an island” cliche up my ass. I tell you, I have  friends albeit only a select few and I don’t live in cliches. That’s because in a world of 6.7 billion  drones, you could get to handpick and count folks who talk sense and command respect for moving out of the cardboard box reality TV celluloid. The rest, sadly, are mindless marionettes who won’t even make a shit even if their strings are cut. So yes, I tend to polarize towards the aberrations of society, the ones who are within my wavelength’s league.
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Posted by ssdd at 7:38 pm | permalink | comments[22]

Dear Mr. Motherfuckin’ IT from Friggin’ Third World Hell

February 25, 2009

Masaya ka na ba? Masaya ka na ba ngayon at meron ka na namang panibagong website na natuklasang kumukunsumo ng limpak-limpak na bandwidth at madalas palang binabasa sa loob ng production floor? Masaya ka na ba at nagawa mo nang tuluyang putulin ang kaligayan ng walang kwenta kong kuta? Masaya ka na ba sa pag-block sa Breathing the SSDD Mantra?

Hindi ko talaga lubos-maisip kung bakit sa dinami-dami naman ng pwedeng paghari-harian ng kukote mong sing-purol ng kutsilyong ginamit sa pagtuli  sa ga-kukong pototoy ni Dagul eh ‘yung blog site ko pa ang napagdiskitahan mo.

Inaano ka ba ng kuta ko? Inaano ba kita? Wala naman akong ginagawang masama di ba?
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Posted by ssdd at 4:31 pm | permalink | comments[26]
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ain't this friggin' narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard cute?

anonymous.jpg

 

A lot of people tell me I’m special. Of course I freakin’ am! You don’t have to stress the obvious. That’s being redundant.

 

I’m a friggin’ yuppie in his early twenties but looks even younger than his age, sometimes mistaken for a scrawny 17-year-old virgin and as such, I have decided to become eternally twenty to be on the safe side. I am slaving the ephemeral call center whoring job as of the moment but one day, I will become a fuckin’ proud CPA topnotcher. Being a perfectionist who does not conform to stereotypes and anything commonplace, I abhor senseless, pointless discussions by nitwits but adore intellectual discourses from remarkable geniuses in the same league with the caliber of my neurons and synapses.

 


I like wearing black shirts even if black is not a color and I love drinking Red Horse booze with pineapple syrup or GSM Blue enhanced by acerbic Sprite when the night is hugged by penis-shrinking coldness in Baguio. I am left-handed and I like to draw but that does not mean I am dumb at Math. Along with English, Math was one of my favorite subjects in high school. I love to watch anything shocking, gross and bizarre; in fact, I find scenes of decapitated heads and messy, blood-soaked innards oddly engaging. I think I'm eclectic.

 


When my half-Chinese dad chickened out, I got robbed of my childhood phase real quick and was forced to live out the family man title. That was also the time that I bade goodbye to the princely way of living in Manila and said hello to the clusterfuck pauper proletariat life in the province. Being the smartass that I am, I excelled academically and graduated half-wishing I had a worthy adversary in the mold of Einstein or da Vinci to sharpen my not-fully-developed cranial muscles. But if you ask me of my biggest achievement so far, I would have to tell you that’s when I sent my sister to schooling and saw her taking her oath as a Certified Electronics and Communications Engineer. I chose to put my dreams in the back seat for her, you see.

 


When I was still in school, I thought my seatmates were drooling retards and I was an effin’ superior child unworthy to be kept inside such a fucked up pig pen. For chrissake, I deserve something far better than those freakin’ bozos! So if I could choose who I want to share the claustrophobic classroom with, I’d pick Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, JK Rowling, Jessica Zafra, Patricia Evangelista, Conrado de Quiroz, Bob Ong and Scott Garceau hands down. They’re authors, if you’re that stupid, by the way.

 

I do not possess the vapid handsomely looks of dumb celebrity stars (they only have the looks but they don’t have that thing in between the ears, anyway) but I am not ugly either. I think I’m cute and as in my penis, my looks could be thrown up there in the above-average file. I am narcissistic and unsurprisingly, I find satisfaction in looking at myself in mirrors. There’s one flaw in my nearly perfect personality though. I am horizontally-challenged and that actually makes me less handsome than I should be. People have been telling me that had I been given a mesomorph frame, I would surely qualify as a handsome dork. Fine, I’ll hit the gym once I find the time. But then again, I’ve always been busy.

 P1170442 copy.jpg 

 

I love writing and someday, when I’ve already reached the stars and danced under stardust sprinkles, I will write the Great Filipino Novel that will put the Philippines in the world literary map. In the meantime though, I content myself with polluting the Internet bandwidth with fuck-me-Freddy rants and unlimited R18 invectives.


I am a narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard in orgiastic moans recluse and this blog is my first attempt in realizing my idiosyncratic world domination plots. There are currently almost 6.7 billion suckers lurking out there contributing nothing to society but vomit-inducing stupidity. Most of these people are worthy to be guillotined to death for harking out such idiotic yadda yadda's.

 

If you believe in this horrendous truth, then join me in ridding the macrocosm of these useless, pathetic twits. If you're the twit, though, go find someone to savor your last fornication on earth and then prepare to be annihilated. The world will be a better place to live in without you, anyway.



This is my blog. You either love me or hate me. Adding me in your blog roll list is fine but don't expect that I will publish your effin' you're-going-to-hell comment. And yes, I don't do ex-links. That's being pathetic. The blogs in my  blog roll are those that I peruse regularly and normally, I don't tell these people I've added them in the list. If you find that offending or for whatever reason, you feel it is an invasion of your privacy rights, just let me know. I'll scrap your site in the list real quick. Otherwise, consider it a form of flattery.

 

ON SECOND THOUGHT, I THINK I AM NOW WILLING TO DO EX-LINKS. ALL THESE BLOGGERS WHO WILLINGLY PERUSED THIS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BLOG MADE ME CHANGE MY MIND. SO YES, YOU CAN NOW COMMENT USING A "NICE POST! EX-LINK?" TEMPLATE. HAPPY?

 

Caution: Breathing the SSDD Mantra is my idiosyncrasy in print. If you can't take the heat in this ranting oven, close the tab and  go screw your next-door neighbor's wife, you pathetic little twit!

 

Don't say I didn't warn you...

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douche bag diatribe unlmtd.

go friggin' plagiarize others' works instead

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.

been harry pottered since the philosopher's and when the saga died down in deathly hallows, i got pottered just the same...sigh!

one effin' proof why pinoys are waaay more superior than their occidental brethrens in the history of friggin' humanity

shaving off the angst-ridden bastardness in me (play with my hamster using your mouse pointer)

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three-liner shits

yes, i want a piece of you! got a problem with that?

hair loss treatment:

nice website..

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pacman:

nice blog site. ok na ok.
anyway share ko lang po. you can watch manny pacquiao video collection here:
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or here:
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mai:

iloveyou. fuck me

mai:

hi pasukan mo nga ko.

toni:

gusto namin pmnta ng dasol (tambobong beach) meron bang place dun to stay overnight or any contact?

ssdd:

Damn, thank you for such strong flattery madam! You may want to stalk me still at thessddboy.com

cat:

You are so damn right. you’re extraordinarily talented. :)

YanaH:

oist adik!!!!!!! san ka? baket hindi ka maramdaman ng blogworld? hahahahaha

ssdd:

@vanvan & kitkat: wag mag-away…alang alang sa alaala ni master rapper kiko. mahal ko ang lahat ng bumibisita sa walang kwentang kutang ‘to. powerhugz! :D

~kitkat~:

@vanvan hehe kakompetensya din pla kita??? aw wlang dirty game ha…hahahhaha bsta ako lab ko c lio loco aalagaan ko sya…hndi ko sya kras mahal ko c lioloco lab ko yan mwah!!! honeykooch ko yan e ^_^

vanvan:

ngwaste ako ng golden time sa pagbabasa ng mga nakasulat dito..me lablayp ka na pala..wala ka man lang warning..bad lio loco loco..sabi ko na nga ba eh..i should be over you!!..aheks..pakiss nga..dami dami naman kasing ngkakras sau..kakaloka..

~kitkat~:

honeykooch mahilig k pla uminom??? wag ka masyado magiinum kc nakakalaki ng tyan tapos bka macra ung atay mo ^_^ paalala lng drink moderately kc lab kita mwah!! ayoko magkasakit ka dahil sa alak mwah!!! ingat k plagi ha mwah!

~kitkat~:

eneweis miss u mwah lab u!!! ingat k plagi ha ^_^ God Bless mmmmwwwaaahhhhhuuugggzzz!!!!

~kitkat~:

natutuliro knb saken hehehehe gsto ko yan pero mas gsto ko ung naiinlab kn saken hahahahhaha ang kapal ko noh dpa nmn tyu magkakilala personally..tsk panu nmn kita makikilala e wla nko sa makati pero ok lng kc maghahanap ako ng trabaho dyan dyan lng din sa makati hahahha bibili nko ng dyaryo bukas manila bulletin am shore madami dun hehehehhe kya bka magkasalabungan n ulet tyu sa daan un nga lng dko alam ikaw n pla un…hehhehehehe

~kitkat~:

ah e na layoff nko…ngayun ko lng nabsa ang powerhugz msg mo kya wla nko trabaho so sad..dko nga alam anu mararamdaman ko e nagaalala kc ako bka mauubos ko ung separation pay ko ng wla prin akong trabho hahahahha pero alam ko n madami akong pedeng patusin n trabaho kc mdami cla dyan hahahahahahha un lng e kung papatusin din nila ako dba ganun lng un hahhahaha

ssdd:

@~kitkat~: natutuliro naman daw ako sa’yo. di ko alam kung dito o sa taas na shoutbox ako magrereply. ahehehe. dayoff ko ngayon. kaya inuman galore. hehehe. recession na ba jan? tsk tsk. sana hindi ka naman matanggal. mahirap alang trabaho ngayon eh. eto ang powerhugs pang-goodluck charm! hehehe. powerhugz! :D

~kitkat~:

hahahahha gsto ko yan powerhugz mo yum!!! hahahahahaha kras mo pla c sara geronimo wweeee wla lng…
kmusta k nmn??? musta kn dyan sa work mo??? d2 samen e nagtatanggalan na e…tapos napanaginipan ko n nagsara na tapos ako lng daw ang hndi binayran tsk tsk tsk masakit un dba…buti nlng at panaginip lng lahat…uu nga pla mahilig kb sa computer games???

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